Pimp by Blood Not Relation

I do apologize World,

I missed you guys yesterday, but I gotta lot going on with it being Homecoming Week. Im out penetratin' the streets with flyers, meeting with folks and pimpin, as usual. I really cant help it. I get from both of my parents, but my grands are the real pimps. My grandfather went to jail for shooting another pimp whose chose Grandpa. Grams *smh* got the ladies and the gentlemen breaking bread and their necks to please her. She was married to a man, now she's married to a woman.Thats probably where I get that shit from. I'm like "Nicki Minaj loves the boys...I like the girls, too, but you gotta be a bad one."

Yesterday was a light day, but got some things accomplished. Stopped by one barbershop, my old barber was about to pull off, but he stopped, bitch in the car and all, to talk to me. He even went as far as to ask me "is that stomach still flat?" Another barber stopped me later, who works with my other barber, he wants to see me and cut me up for free. Last shop, made a biz deal and got a free cut. Met the owner of autoshop who got the buggy right. I filled out the invoice with my info, without any charges. Them folks worked on my car for hours. I know, I was stuck there the whole time. I went for a service that should taken no longer than 20-30 minutes total, but the they discovered other shit. I am not complaining. I went to sleep thanking the LORD and woke up with a continuation! Leaving the shop, I went to J. Alexander picked up a quick dinner for me and my lil girl compliments of this wanna-be-with-me as nigga. Stayed there bout fifteen minutes then rolled on downtown. Showed my face in the spot.

Then went home to give Uncle Frank a piece of mind to relieve him from an exasperating day. He couldn't believe I didn't run upstairs to my office/temporary living quarters right away versus me chillin on the loveseat with him. I knew he had a hard long day losing all his IDs and cards. I am a REAL friend plus I get a kick out of it. He seemed surprised I came home with J. Alexander bags and that I left the Auto shop with such an "outstanding" bill. All I needed was to be able to get around. I'm back bitches! Well.......almost.

Well, he's got family coming in, so we gotta go somewhere else. He wanna act all concerned about where I'm going to stay. Why? You should've thought about that before you invited us to come stay with you. I cant find somewhere to go every time someone comes in town and you don't want them to know you housin a bitch plus one. The funniest is when he tries to hide me from the people who super know I exist like these NFL agents and players. Little does he know, they refer to him as my husband and other half. lol We never put a title on our relationship besides friends and business partners. (Yeah right) I seen his barber yesterday . First thing he says to me is "Where's Frank?" "This is him on the phone," coincindently. The whole town knows, even at this point there really nothing to know. If they only knew...

I gotta go for now that was more than enough. Read the past blogs to understand more of this one. Dont be offended by the lingo.

Join me as I, rejoice in hope, endure affliction, and persevere in prayer.

Love. Peace. & Hairgrease to you,
(you're suppose to say and also with you)

[Miss]underSTOOD

Sleeping Seperately

Hey World...it's me [Miss]underSTOOD Mimi!



Last night I set up me an airmatress in my office upstairs away from everyone. I decided I wanted sleep separated from "Uncle Frank." I figured it would help separate somethings emotionally, especially since we are "not-dating". Night before last he brought a young lady home with him from the club. Yeah, I am not surprised. What surprises me is his choice in women. Hmmmp. If you "brought her home for us"......you should've left her cheap ass where you found her. Well, now he and his basic-bitches can have the room. Im good; do what you want. Anywho, that's not the focus of his blog.

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. I wasn't tossing and turnin looking for the comfort I routinely find nuzzled up next to him. I was ready to get out the bed with no problem. Versus my normal, waiting on him to get up before I bust a move. I felt a since of independence. I feel like I am in my own space. That is what a bedroom has always been for me, a retreat from the world around me. It serves as my safehaven and filler station. I am renewed in the confines of my own space.

When my ex and I lived together, I had my own bedroom. I sometimes slept with him and other nights alone. Sometimes I would go in there for my naps or when I just need some me-time. We watched many westerns (he was a cowboy to the heart.) I vividly remember this one where this prestigous man married a lady and she was given this beautiful suite of slumber. I thought "that is the shit; I wanna be like her when I grow up!" And that is my plan. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 24 percent of couples sleep in seperate rooms. When I get married, I must have my own room. I told my friends that I would probably want my own house connected with a bridge (I seen that on a movie,too), like Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter who have seperate homes connected with a hallway. So, I'm not completely crazy.

The National Association of Home Builders expect to be building 60 percent of custom homes with double master suites. Some may argue that sleeping is time a intimacy for couples. While others beg to differ saying its a precious time that is needed for proper rest, minus the interruptions that can be caused by your bed-mate. A lack of sufficient sleep can cause a multitude of problems. And it definitely won't contribute to the bliss of a couple.

Think what you want; say it, tweet it, FB it, too. But I know what I gotta do.

Love. Peace. and Hair-grease!

Im just [Miss]underSTOOD

A Nut A Day Keeps The Doctor Away

Heeeeeey,

You know the old saying "an apple a day, keeps the doctor." Well I say bustin a nut* a day will keep the doctor away. Have you ever realized how chipper a person is after having sex, especially when its been a while. Think about that movie Deliver Us From Eva, Eva was a new woman! Wonder why? Well WebMD.com list "10 Suprising Health Benefits of Sex:"

1. Sex Relieves Stress
2. Sex Boosts Immunity
3. Sex Burns Calories
4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health
5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem
6. Sex Improves Intimacy
7. Sex Reduces Pain
8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles
10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better

Me personally, when I had great sexin, I was happier and my body looked grrrrreat! With less than, I have a less than friendly demeanor and less curves. Im a slim sister who needs her lil shape. I wrote a poem once that said that "I've come to a point where sex is of nature, no longer of sin." Sex is as natural as the bird and bees. And come to find out we are not the only mammals who have sex for recreation and re-creation. Yeah, dolphins make whoopy for the fuck of it, no pun intended.
Now this does not mean, by any means, go out there and start fuckin random ppl because [Miss]underSTOOD said "a nut a day will keep the doctor away." You'll end up getting very acquainted with the Dr. in the case that you are not making SAFE decisions. If you are married or in a monogamous relationship, then get your workout on.
There is nothing left to say. Ladies practice your Kegal exercises and keep it fresh. Fellas wash da boys just ONE MO TIME! Your lady or man friend ( gotta b p.c.) will thank you! Any questions get at me...
*bustin a nut means to have an orgasm.
Love. Peace. Hairgrease with you,
[Miss]underSTOOD

Just Married

Hey Guys,

I was thinking about people who are married, but not married. I guess how I have been dating a guy I'm not-dating. Thats so funny to me. (If you don't know what I am talking about read yesterdays blog.) Anywho back to these so-called married folk. First, we have my father who has been married twenty years but been planning a divorce for about 10-15 of those years, until this year. Now he's decided to chalk it up and keep her around. So they act more like friends and roomates than anything. Sometimes they sleep in the same bed, but you hardly see them interact. Then there's my beautiful aunt who lives in a big beautiful house, has a beautiful husband and sleeps in a big beautiful king-sized bed, alone. Her husband sleeps down the hall. They haven't slept together in ten years. TEN YEARS! But when you see them together they act like a happily married couple. wtf?

So yesterday I was talking to my cousin; she took note of how me and Uncle Frank* work together like a married couple. Everything looks and operates like we have been doing this for years. Well, we did do it for everyday for a few months. My lil girl was gone for the summer, so it was nothing to stay at his house everyday. If I tried to leave, he'd act like puppy dog. "Where you going?" "Why you can't just sleep here?" "Why you gotta go home?" How can you tell a cute lil thirty-EIGHT year-old no with that baby look in his eye no? Im a sucka for a kid. I was telling my cousin thats how it was before verse two of "A Little Bit" except we were intimate then.

OMG! This fool started holding my hand last night while were watching TV. I was like what is this about? Then he dropped my hand with the quickness when my lil girl started coming down the hallway. I almost died on the inside it was funny. I had to call my cousin and tell her about that. Oh then this morning he wanna spoon and shit. What is this not-dating relationship coming to?

Well, I am going to Bible Study today. I hope the speaker don't be lookin at me today. He's married and I vowed to leave these married men alone. How will I ever have a respectable marriage if I don't ever respect the institution of marriage. I have one guy who is seperated that I dated last winter. I told him I can't be in a relationship with him because he is not available to marry me. I am getting to an age where I do not need to be courting for sex or temporal needs/wants. I need to be courting for marriage. And at the moment I feel I cannot be married to a person I need to roll on. Do I see myself possibly marrying the guy Im not-dating, Uncle Frank? I don't know. Like I've said before, we work well together as a household, the two of us and the three of our children. I can't say. I never intended to be in this position or the previous with this guy. Plus, I am supposed to be marrying this guy thats incarcerated. My father is gun-ho about me and this guy. Niether of us hold this season against him. We'll talk about that in a later post.

Make sure you follow me and you can also subscribe to my blog. Thanks for stoppin by!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j5NgbKV-Pg

[Miss}underSTOOD

The guy I'm not-dating...

Mornin World,

dis-claimer- Please do not be offended. There is reference to religion. I cuss, curse, swear, whatever you prefer to call it. Bless those who r offended.
*nouns- people, places, things and situations. (you'll need that later)

So, I'm staying with this guy that I'm "not dating." We have been "not dating" since like April. Damn, that's like six months! We were just hanging out at first; it was suppose to be on some business shit. We met some years ago thru his friend that i kinda used to date. But like a lot of men in my business world, he started liking me, which blurs shit. I am a very attractive lady, true enough, but I am a lady about my business. I wanna make money, not whoopy. We made whoopy, no money. Now we both broke. But anyways, he invited me and my lil girl to come stay with him until I got my house winterized. At the moment I was like "naw, I'm cool," but then a couple of days later I thought about some other benefits of staying there. For one its less stuff to distract me from my work. Two, it may be more comfortable for my lil girl. I can't expect her to weather the storm because of me and my inadequecies. That night, I prayed about it and ask the LORD to make me more dependent upon him. Make me more dependent...OMG! what was I thinking?! Oh Lord, what are you going to do now???

See the big G works a little differently than most think. You say make me stronger, he puts more weight on you (like any strengthening coach would do). You ask to be more patient, he makes you wait longer. So I asked to be more dependent and... my lights were cut off by eight o'clock the next morning. Not due to lack of payment, but due to someone attempting to exercise power over me. Needless to say I was not financially prepared for such an episode. Fortunately, I was in the midst of praying when Mr. Electric Man clipped da lights, building up my spirit for the day. I felt it was going to be a doozy, but it wasn't. I had already decided to give the Creator glory in all situations.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. (Prov 3:5-6)

Some nouns* are not for us to understand rather for us accept, as-is. Don't you hate the term "as-is"? Its like you know something is going to be fucked up before you go forth with the decision. Think about that it means that you may have to adjust or adapt. It's easy to go with the flow, but can you roll with the punches?

At this point me and the guy I'm not-dating are not dating. We merely share space. We are not the business partners he likes to say we are. However, he still likes for me to play with Peter. He won't play with Pearl. And Peter and Pearl are not allowed to play together via both of our better judgement. wddd@? #killyoself! Did I mention he will only sleep in the bed if I sleep in the bed. I once told him before I was just his nightelight and coffeemaker. Check out the link; it's Drake w/Lykke Li- A little bit. It totally personifies the course of our relationship. Life is interesting. The seasons that come to pass. *smh* Thank God ALL seasons come to an end. And thats whats important. No matter what situation you are in, it's for a season and it will come to an end.

Love. Peace. & Hairgrease with you,

-[Miss]underSTOOD
http://www.imeem.com/drake/music/ygK_dzbI/drake-little-bit-feat-lykke-li/

Is the world ready?

Hello World,

I would like to formally introduce myself. I am [Miss]underSTOOD. Miss because Ima lady *southernbelle accent*. Misunderstood by most. Many things in my life are understood without speech. Understood? I love to teach. And if I stood for anything I wouldn't be [miss]ed.


What will I be blogging about?


Anything and everything. I don't, do not, watch much television. I catch it every now and then (and I get glued like I did when I was 10 years old). So, I am only up on what goes on in my world. I am involved in church, the community, the streets, and social circles galore. Honesty is my middle name, so many tend to steer clear of my sharp tongue. Otherwise, I am sweet as a Georgia peach, but you know what they say...The sweeetest person in the world can be the meanest person in the world, if you make them that way. So you will read some of my personal confessions, stories of friends and famous. Some poetry and prose. Some scriptures and reflections. Quotes and anecdotes.



Disclaimer: I text and tweet, so there may b sum text-phonics, ebonics, and any other -onics I cum up with. I may change the names of sum folk to protect their sensitive-ass identities, but then again I may not. Sorry if you are one of the people mentioned in a blog. This blog is for informational and entertainment purposes only. I am in no way trying to persuade or force my opinion about you or the things you do on anyone. You have right to gimme something to talk about, I have a write to speech and the folks reading can form their own opinion right-away. Thats enuf 4 now. I'll [miss] claim sum mo stuff lata....


So you tell me Is the world ready?

Love, Peace & Hairgrease with you....